


Insanity is Reality

by WreakingHavok



Category: Sanders Sides, Thomas Sanders, Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Blood, GO READ IT, I'm so sorry, Insanity, Suicide, Thomas if you see this don't read it I swear it's too cringey, anywho stop reading the tags and read the story, go, it was never supposed to go this far, thats the big one folks, then again you'll never see it so I don't gotta worry, this is a piece of crap, this is what happens at three am
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-13
Updated: 2017-06-13
Packaged: 2018-11-13 12:55:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 807
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11185563
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WreakingHavok/pseuds/WreakingHavok
Summary: And never let them tell you any different.He knows that Logic is made up. He knows that now he has none left.He knows that Morality is made up - an attempt to convince himself that he has any shred of love or compassion left.He knows Creativity is made up. He's just as fake as the four beige walls that surround him.They're not real.





	Insanity is Reality

He knows he's insane. 

The four voices in his head told him as much.

He pretends that they're real. He makes them bodies and personalities - makes them carbon copies of himself.

He used to believe they were real.

Now he knows.

He knows that Logic is made up. He knows that now he has none left. 

He knows that Morality is made up - an attempt to convince himself that he has any shred of love or compassion left.

He knows Creativity is made up. He's just as fake as the four beige walls that surround him. 

They aren't real.

Neither is the world around him.

He knows that the staircase Anxiety inhabits leads to nowhere but the ceiling and the hallway where Logic stands is a solid wall.

He knows why the shades are always drawn behind Morality - there's nothing behind them.

He knows he conjured it all up in his head and there's nothing but padded walls surrounding him now.

He knows he's wearing the standard asylum uniform but he hates it. It's too white.

So he made it red. Then blue. Then pink. Then a jacket overtop. Jeans. A belt. 

His hair isn't greasy and unkempt. It's brushed and fluffed and looks better than it ever did before.

He knows it's not real.

He wants to be real.

And maybe, just maybe - he'll be normal once they're gone.

He knows he won't be but he has to try anyway.

He tears apart Morality. He watches as the blood stains the carpet and splatters on the white walls behind him. He stares in fascination and feels part of his heart die.

He knows it was wrong. Knows that he can't feel remorse for it anyway, so he has to try again. 

Maybe this time it'll work.

He knows it won't but he tells himself it will.

Logic hides for a while, but there's nowhere to run and his screams echo emptily through the fake hallway. Blood stains the walls and the pictures and he can't see his family and friends in them anymore.

He knows that continuing wont make a difference. But he tells himself it will.

That's the definition of insanity, right, Logic?

Doing the same thing over and over and expecting things to change, right, Logic?

But no one answers and he knows exactly why.

He turns on Creativity. He's harder to kill. But every prince dies in the end and as the walls turn back to white and the normal clothes disappear he knows he's done his job.

He knows he's done it way too well.

They're gone.

He knows that now he's made things worse.

They weren't real.

They weren't.

He must not have gotten them all.

He knows he didn't. Knows he can't.

He knows Anxiety is real.

He knows that this is all Anxiety's fault.

He wants him gone. Wants to go home.

He knows he can never go home.

Because Anxiety is one of the voices and he needs them gone to go home.

But he knows Anxiety is real and he screams, startling the nurse walking outside of his door.

He knows she thinks he's crazy.

He knows she's right.

He can't get rid of Anxiety. He can't touch him.

He tries and tries to get near, to rip him to pieces, but the figure won't stop crying and holding a blood-soaked cardigan and tie, rocking in the corner at the feet of a lamp.

He wants to go home. He wants to go home.

He wants to be free.

But Anxiety won't let him be free.

He can never be free.

Anxiety won't go away and he knows he can never go home.

He knows that he's made a mistake but he knows it was the only way.

He knows he can't feel remorse.

But he wants the room back.

He wants to see the stairs that he knows lead to nowhere and the hallway that he knows won't take him anywhere.

He wants to see Logic smile and hear Creativity sing and Morality make a joke.

They were home. 

They were free.

Now he's truly trapped in a cell with Anxiety who won't let him be free.

He knows they weren't real.

He knows he's insane.

The four voices in his head told him as much.

Now the one voice can't stop crying enough to make him regret silencing the others and he decides to silence the only other voice he can.

He knows it will work.

And Anxiety screams and so does he and then his world is blissfully quiet and he's finally, finally free.

 

Name: Thomas Sanders

Time of Death: 5:42 P.M.

Cause of Death: Suicide - asphyxiation

 

It's the only thing the world will ever remember him by and they lock it in a drawer.

No one ever looks at it again.


End file.
